Having mentioned in my last post that I think conversations about and with Gay and Lesbian Christians are important, I thought it might be informative if I said something about how I arrived at the position I currently hold with regard to homosexuality.

I first had to confront the reality of Gay and Lesbian Christians in the early 1980s when I began my studies at Harvard Divinity School. Getting to know gays and lesbians as classmates and then as friends shaped my later experiences. I was a member of the Board of Directors of Ministry to the Homeless, which sought to provide a pastoral presence to homeless men and women on the streets of Boston. Its director was gay; he was also an ordained Disciples of Christ minister. I saw Michael’s gifts at work in Boston, changing the lives of homeless people, and the attitudes of other people. Michael later died of HIV/AIDS, a legacy of his life before he came to know the life that we have in Christ.

I remember a conversation I had with an old and very dear friend who was a graduate of the Mennonite Biblical Seminary. We got together at some point in the mid-80s, and our conversation turned to gays and lesbians. I recall quite clearly that my friend was advocating same-sex blessings while I was deeply opposed. As a single person at the time, it wasn’t clear to me that relationships needed the church’s blessing (this was long before I became Episcopalian). Since then, I have maintained friendships with gays and lesbians and I am aware of couples who have been together as long as Corrie and I.

The point is that my theological and pastoral understanding of homosexuality is rooted in my experience of individuals and families. When people ask me about the biblical verses that seem to reject homosexual behavior, my first response is not to try to interpret or explain those texts but rather to begin with experience. My reasoning goes something like this:

1) There are people who for whatever reason (is it biological, cultural, tied to their personal experience?) can find fulfillment in relationships only with members of the same gender

2) God has created us as sexual beings and as beings who live in community

3) God, the Trinity, is a relational being, and being created in God’s image, we also are relational

4) While I do believe some people are called to celibacy, denying one’s sexuality and sexual being is potentially very dangerous (the recent scandals in the Roman Catholic Church prove that)

5) The gift of love between two people is a gift from God. It is also fragile and needs the support of a wider community for it to flourish

6) Given all that, the Church has a responsibility to work toward the full inclusion of gays and lesbians in its life, and ultimately to find ways of recognizing and blessing the love that gay and lesbian couples share.

I am well aware that many people of faith would disagree with what I have said here, but I would encourage everyone to think about what I have written. It is my conviction that most people’s attitudes towards homosexuality are not based on biblical or theological grounds. Rather, most people have an attitude for which they seek supporting arguments in scripture and theology. I woucld encourage people to reflect on those underlying attitudes—where do they come from? On what are they based? Better yet, talk to your gay and lesbian neighbors, coworkers, and fellow church members. Ask them about their experiences and about their lives, and ask them as well about their faith journeys.